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Dark Spartan796 |
This is both funny and disturbing. Funny because his reactions to people fucking with him are so outrageous. Disturbing because at such a young age he’s already warped and addicted. This kid’s gonna be ruined when he gets into high school.
…But at least it’s funny.
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Rockmanneo12 |
I figure I might do one of these a month at this pace. This ones nothing special compared to my last two but the occasion called for snow so I went with it.
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Dark Spartan796 |
We put together my new desk and chair today, replacing the old one that was on its last legs. The process of cleaning out my room to make space for this desk was absolutely murderous. I’m exhausted.
Now I finally have a shelf where I can lay my 360 down horizontal, as well as room for my new Vista laptop. My printer’s now also on its own shelf, previously I couldn’t print due solely to the amount of clutter blocking it before. If I’m so compelled later, I may even do a video blog.
Start begging for it. Now.
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Dark Spartan796 |
I had to post this, I found it about an hour ago.
This Weighted Companion Cube is perfectly normal. It will not stab you, it cannot speak, so feel free to turn your back on it for more than a few seconds. If it you hear noises, then you’ve been doing too much Enrichment Center testing, and should stop running just for a few moments to take a rest.
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Dark Spartan796 |
For some reason, I feel compelled to make a blog entry today. There’s not really any news to speak of, aside from the new Vista laptop my father gave me as a grad present (which is strange, because I haven’t even graduated yet). Some new furniture is coming into my bedroom tomorrow, so I’ll have a new desk and a place to put that laptop. Yay.
I’ve been so bored recently. Every game I have I’ve played into the ground. Even Rock Band isn’t keeping me occupied for hours like it used to. Gmod makes even this computer chug at times now, which is why I look forward to moving all of my Steam games over to the other one. Maybe I’ll pick up Unreal Tournament 3 while I’m at it.
There’s just not really anything to look forward to until Super Smash Bros. Brawl comes out, and that’s in another month…
Kill me. Now. Or help me acquire a time-traveling DeLorean.
Also in a month is the first pack of Mass Effect downloadable content. You can go check out details about it here. For 400 points, it seems like something worth checking out come March 10th.
Since I’m pretty much redoing the layout of my room, I figure I’ll take this opportunity to order some prints or posters to fill up empty space on my walls. I was thinking about getting that big Episode Two lithograph Valve has in their store, but I haven’t decided on anything yet.
Aside from those bits of news you probably don’t care about, that’s all I’ve got. To balance the lack of humor in this blog: bosoms melons milk factories busts fun bags knockers boobies nipples jugs jubblies FUCKING GREAT TITS.
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Rockmanneo12 |
I can’t say I’ve been to interested in anything lately. I’m currently saving money for a new laptop that will play Gmod at peak performance while also being able to handle Supreme Commander. I may get it off IBUYPower.com or CYBERPower.com Not sure yet.
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Dark Spartan796 |
It’s been a while since I’ve last visited Rapture, but I do have some fond memories of it. Ah yes, the countless scuffles the citizens and I got into, and all of those won by what can be called the “one-two punch.”
Seriously. If you’ve got the best Electro Bolt or Wrench Jockey upgrades your genetic material can buy, that’s all you really need to keep going. Sure, the fights with the Big Daddies require a little extra, but pretty much every Splicer can be defeated in this way.
Even with fighting Big Daddies, they usually leave behind enough money to buy back the ammo you used to kill him, allowing you continue the murder cycle.
I really would’ve liked to have seen some power specialization in this game, because beefing yourself up in every area makes it too easy after a while. I can understand having tonics which reduce the difficulty of hacking, but having six all at once? You might as well just touch what you’re hacking and it magically unlocks, which is what happens if you research the turrets and security bots enough.
Researching. You must have an awesome camera that can gather information which you never really read, but it gives you powers and tonics for doing so, too! Explain THAT one.
Hacking is great. No one wants to pay full price for those shotgun shells, but clearly the most absurd part is the fact that enemies in the area around you will courteously wait for you to finish up before being one-two punched. Below, Zero Punctuation‘s Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw demonstrates the hidden civility in the denizens of Rapture.
It’s also cool that your character has special levitation powers which only activate after you jump up to begin to hack a camera that’s just slightly out of reach.
Also, what’s that green stuff that’s flowing through the pipes? It looks like toothpaste, but it electrocutes you if you fail to complete the circuit in time. The fact that there is a clearly marked exit for the pipe current to lead to leads me to believe that in their “enemy” state, the machines are simply wired (I used this term loosely, since it’s mostly pipes) wrong. When you open the damn control panel for any potential hack, all of the pipes lead to absolutely nowhere. What the fuck?
I have a habit of noticing things in a game which aren’t meant to be noticed. For example, how the security bots are built. Basically it’s a steam-powered outboard motor which is somehow capable of flight, a machine gun, and a fruit crate holding the ammo for the aforementioned gun. Or the turrets. A machine gun/rocket launcher mounted to a chair, which rotates with a little steam-powered wheel. I’m sure the developers didn’t think this out as much as I am now, but in the complete absence of any computer targeting system, one can wonder how it identifies between friend and foe.
U-Invent can save your life, allowing you to simply deposit junk you find around the city, hit a button, and a useful item pops out. Did you know it only takes 3 jugs of distilled water, 2 cans of kerosene and a section of brass tubing to build 2 heat-seeking rockets? I’ll have to try that one next weekend. Hacking this machine apparently makes the invention process more efficient, reducing the amount of junk you need.
Who knows? Maybe they invented U-Invent to reduce littering in Rapture, so everyone would be motivated to collect junk and build something useful out of it, but you’d think they’d run out of trash eventually. I’m confused.
Buying ammo. BUYING AMMUNITION IN A PUBLIC PLACE! THROUGH A VENDING MACHINE! Maybe it’s not against the law to carry whatever gun you want in Rapture, which I guess in part explains its downfall. Good call, Ryan.
Speaking of money, notice that your wallet has four digit places, but you can only go to 500 Ryan Happy Fun Fuck Bucks.
I’ve ridiculed this game enough, I believe. Even through all of this though, it was probably one of the greatest games I’ve ever played. Next up, the Half-Life series!
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Dark Spartan796 |
I’ve got nothing better to do tonight (I beat Rock Band guitar tour on Hard, yay), so I’ll humor you with something Jake and I spent a few minutes discussing today over lunch.
Mass Effect, as glorious, beautiful, and immersing as it is, has some basic nuances that kind of bug me, a lot of them dealing with the combat system.
While I love being able to pause in the middle of a firefight to issue commands, switch weapons, swap out weapon mods, etc., imagine all of that in a realistic sense. Let me provide you with a little insight using this hypothetical script:
*Commander Shepard and his two teammates, in this case, Garrus and Wrex, wipe up the remainder of some Geth troops that attacked them*
Shepard: Well, that’s all taken care of.
Wrex: And it was kind of fun.
*Suddenly, out of nowhere, a group of human mercenaries attacks! They level their weapons and prepare to fire…*
Shepard: Whoa whoa, wait a second! We’re not ready yet, can you give us a few minutes to swap out some mods? We just finished fighting some Geth and we need to take these armor-piercing bullets out so we can fight you with shredder rounds. Would that be cool?
Mercenary Captain: Yeah sure, take as long as you need. We’ll be here, ready to fight.
*Shepard and his allies proceed to take their weapons apart, swapping out various components, asking for new ones*
Shepard: Okay, just about got it. Wrex, don’t forget to add those Frictionless Materials. Garrus, remember the new Sniper Rifle I bought in C-Sec for you? Go ahead and slap on some Enhanced Optics as well as a Kinetic Coil. Also, change into this new armor. Wrex, you too. Make sure you transfer the upgrades over.
*The Mercenaries watch on, shielding their eyes from appropriate alien nudity parts. Finally, they’re all armed and ready to fight.*
Mercenary Captain: Okay, let’s do this!
Shepard: Just a sec, lemme issue the proper commands to my men, so we can kill you in the right way.
Mercenary Captain: No problem, I know you Alliance guys like to do things by the book.
Shepard: Okay guys, huddle.
*Shepard, Garrus and Wrex huddle together, like a coach giving his football team plays*
Shepard: Okay, Garrus, I need you to hit them with an Assassination shot while Wrex has them incapacitated with his biotics. After that, I’ll use my Carnage shot to wipe them all out. If they get tough, I’ll use Barrier before we get too hurt.
Wrex: Got it.
Garrus: Yes, sir.
Shepard: Okay, one last thing. I’m activating the Medi-Gel now, just to be safe, and we’ll go in fully healed.
Mercenary Captain: *looking at his men quizzically* Are you ready, Commander?
Shepard: Okay, let’s go!
*The firefight ensues, but halfway through Shepard calls another cease-fire*
Shepard: Oh right, I forgot! I’m using an Assault Rifle, I’m not trained with this! I’ll have to move all of my upgrades over to my shotgun, give me a sec…
*The mercenaries moan as they wait in what can be called the longest armed conflict ever.*
And that’s pretty much how it went for me. Next game to ridicule is BioShock. Stay tuned!
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